So first of all – thank you everyone. Your comments on my last post were amazing.
Things have been slowly sinking in, today being the first day of the new GD regimen. Here are some conclusions, pardon the bullets:
- Always read instructions on your glucose meter. It took me 5 pricks to get a reading this morning, all because I thought the nurse’s training was enough, and I didn’t bother to read the meter instructions. It was a bloodbath. A funny, comedy of errors type of bloodbath, but a bloodbath nonetheless. My fingers don’t like me anymore as a result.
- Squish pointed out some smart things to me yesterday (that were echoed in the comments). This is exactly the type of control-freaky stuff that I love. I have numbers and regimens to deal with, and that totally feeds into my control-freak nature. So that’s a plus. I have numbers to obsess over! Yay! Or something!
- When I mentioned the increased C-Section rate with GD to her, Squish wisely pointed out that since my last labor and birth were traumatic beyond words, maybe something that is the polar opposite (i.e. a C-Section rather than a natural birth) would be a good experience for us. Even healing. It’s not that I want a C-Section, in fact, that’s one of the things I LEAST WANT EVER. But thinking about it that way makes that option feel far less daunting. Does that make any sense?
- This actually means I get to see my high-risk OB more often. That means more cervix measurements and ultrasounds. That is always a good thing in my book.
- I did A LOT of reading and asked A LOT of questions yesterday. I was purposefully looking for things that would endanger B5. I wanted to know the worst-case scenario. I now understand that the worst-case scenario here isn’t that bad. As long as I manage this, she should be fine. All the warnings I saw were only if the condition went untreated, and I plan on treating the hell out of it. I’ve never looked so hard for disaster ever without finding it. This time I didn’t find it. So that is a huge relief.
- I really need to wrap my head around this viability thing. I’m still acting and thinking as if we haven’t hit that point. I’m still feeling like things could easily go terribly wrong, even though the odds are way more in our favor this time. I’m hoping this will go away in time, because I’m sick and tired of being terrified.
- I don’t think I realized just how much sugar and how many carbs I was ingesting in a given day. I thought that at least in the last month or so I started eating healthier. I was wrong.
- Sugar withdrawal is a bitch. Seriously. I’ve been craving sweet stuff all day. And B5 has been much less active today as things even out. I even pulled out the doppler at one point because she was too still for my tastes. I guess we both have to get used to this no-sugar thing.
- Three months and I can have chocolate again. Only three months.
- I bought the “I’m With Stupid” maternity shirt last night, as sort of a “fuck you universe” statement. It is officially the first true piece of maternity clothing I have ever purchased (I’ve been making due with tunics, stretchy dresses and plus-size). I hope nothing explodes or catches fire as a result. I’ll keep you guys posted.
- GD sucks, but I think we’ll manage.